Comedy jokes

What does a cow watch?

MooTube.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Yo man, stand up.

*short person stands*

No, seriously man, stand up!

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the Fresh prints.

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!

Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards". It is cool.

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

Boner.