Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
