Comedy jokes

When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.

When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."

Mooning is very astrological!

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.

To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."

Dead baby jokes never get old...

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

Puns, that's how I roll.

In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.

2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.

Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.

1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?

2nd Person: Yeah, sure!

1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Here's a joke: Your life.

I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.