Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Comedy Jokes
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
Penis.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
