Come jokes

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?

"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

What comes after 69?

Period.