Come jokes

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

How come orphans know how to do laundry?

Cause that's usually the mom's job.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!

What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.