Come jokes

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?

You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

There's a blind hooker in town.

She never sees anyone coming.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.

I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑

I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.

What does your head come out of... your brain?

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.