New Come Jokes - Page 24 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

Why do orphans love school?

'Cause people actually come back.

Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

"Peter, Peter come to me!"

So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"

Where does an orphan come from?

Daddy getting milk.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."