Clothing jokes
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What is an owl that wears armor?
What did the house wear to the party? A dress.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
Why do jeans always compliment your booty?
Because they’ve got your back!