Clothing jokes
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Why do jeans always compliment your booty?
Because they’ve got your back!
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Memes
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What is an owl that wears armor?
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
What did the house wear to the party? A dress.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.