My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Clothing Jokes
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
Tides right?
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
