One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Where do sheep go to shop? Woolmart
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire (A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? no? I'm lonely. add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Where do sith get their clothes? At the Darth Maul!
dang it got ketchup on my sleeve what do I do o spread the LOVE
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
