Church Jokes

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?

Father Les

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

*A priest walks into a wine store*

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism? It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he's an alter boy

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video

Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?

A: The size of balls they play with

I was blessed with a 9inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now

Why did the orphan go to church? To hear some "foster" Parenting advice.

i don't get it. orphans are very religious, well mostly. statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church i mean its the only place they can call someone "father"

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

priest

Two priests walk into a store and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester and the priests both say I’ll do it

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent