Church jokes
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."