Church jokes
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
as apart of this stupid state i can confirm not cold at all. (I was born in Ohio)
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.