Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
what did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas.
he couldn't even open it.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
And Mary said God had given her a child. So Joseph went and joined 'Fathers For Justice'.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas, I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
What is a animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
What type of alphabet does an elf learn? The elf-abet
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual peadophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!!!!
Santa claws have a child a bike and a football the child wasn’t happy why
He had no legs
Who gave jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa clause!
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree? Cause she always dropped them.
*family are together playing charades*
Me: 50 Shades of Grey! Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on nan!
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights
they are both going to be hanging from a tree
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
You know how in the movie nightmare before christmas they say making Christmas
I thought mary a josphe did but ok
last christmas i took a picture of your mom
Its still printing
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
