Christmas jokes
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.