Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
