Christmas jokes
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."