Choke Jokes

What happen to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

Did you hear the news? Michael jackson died, because he choked on 7 year old nuts and balls

Why does Darth Vader always choke people? Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.

yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin

Are you choked

How did Aniken get away with cheating?

By choking on his wife

If she’s old enough to smoke She’s old enough to choke If she’s old enough to pee She’s old enough for me

What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!

“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

I learned that a strangler was targeting me. All I could think was “You’ve got to be choking me

Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people. 😎

Flag of Congo - Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

a bully chokes me I simply say jokes on you I like being chocked :)