Choke jokes
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Are you choked?
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"