Choke jokes
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.