Chinese jokes
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."