Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
