How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Orphans are really out here taking selfies.
Nah bro, that's a family photo.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
