Children

Children jokes

Jimmy

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Child

How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

Behavior

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Orphan

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn.

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Memes

Child

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.

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  • Orphan

    Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

    Black kid

    How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

    Orphan

    What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.

    Child

    How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

    Orphan

    Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

    Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

    Child

    What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

    Company

    What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

    They both enjoy kids' company.