Children jokes
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
Memes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.