Children jokes
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!
Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!
Good luck, Jake.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
Orphans are really out here taking selfies.
Nah bro, that's a family photo.
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
“Because they always wanted a daddy.”
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."