What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Children Jokes
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Orphans are really out here taking selfies.
Nah bro, that's a family photo.
