Childhood jokes
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 frđ”âđ«
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Memes
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. âI donât want to know!â Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. âOh, Pop,â Johnny sobbed, âFor me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if youâre telling me now that grownups donât really have sex, Iâve got nothing left to live for!â
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They donât know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: Iâm going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because Iâm a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Itâs not like they can tell their parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They canât see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they donât know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
Whatâs the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Why canât orphans play baseball?
Because they canât find home.
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Why can you bully an orphan?
Because they canât tell their parents.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.