Childhood Jokes

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home plate.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵‍💫

so true

A young child with her mouth open is crying. The text above her reads "MEAN OLDER SISTER" and below reads "CHASING YOU WITH VACUUM CLEANER".

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Do you know what the F in orphan is for...

Family.

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

"Meet the Family."

What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?

Nothing because they can't open the gift.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”