Childhood jokes
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Why do orphans play baseball?
That’s the only way they can run to home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?
They have no one to call "daddy."
True as fuck
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why can't orphans play sports?
They don't know what a home team is.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
The reason why orphans can't play baseball is because they can't find home.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.