Childhood jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
The pose I pulled when my mom caught me doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Why did the orphan cross the road? They thought they saw their mother.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"