Childhood jokes
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?