Childhood jokes
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
I'm an orphan, lol.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?