Childhood jokes
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Why can't orphans play sports?
They don't know what a home team is.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
What was the orphan's favorite TV show?
Full House.