Childhood jokes

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

What's an orphan's favorite game?

"Who's your daddy?"

(Go look up the game)

I like dildos.

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

Why do orphans hate hide n seek?

'Cause they can't find their parents.

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

An apple gets picked.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they have no home to run to, lmao.

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.