Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Childhood Jokes
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to, lmao.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
