Childhood

Childhood jokes

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.

I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOOF"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your Parents."

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?