My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Childhood Jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Q: An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
There's an upside to being an orphan; every snack they get is family size.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Most likely because they can't find home.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
