Child jokes
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
aiyyaaaaaaa
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They ain't got no home to run to.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Baby 🍼
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?
Because they return eventually.