Child jokes
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What do you call an orphan?
Kyan.