Child jokes

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Child: I am hungry.

Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!

Child: *groans* *walks away*

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

"Johnny, why wave?"

"Hi, Goo!"

My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.

Orphan: I finally have a father!

God: And who is that?

Orphan: You!

God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.

Orphan: :l

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

What do you call a baby in the crib?

Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.

What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

Why can't orphans play games?

Parents signed.