Child Jokes

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

- Mommy, i want a bicycle !! - Shut up Sam! You've already have your wheelchair!

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: hey, what are you doing?

Child: oh I just milked one of your cows

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls

Child: *realizes*

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherf*ckers who want to get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on get on his mother here's him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherf*ckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.

How to tell your kid he's adopted: Son, I'm a virgin.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"