Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
- Mommy, i want a bicycle !! - Shut up Sam! You've already have your wheelchair!
atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touch each other or anything, so sir, I did not drop-kick that child
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
How to tell your kid he's adopted: Son, I'm a virgin.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet : "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say "where are your parents?" the kid says "What are parents?
What is a pedophile's favourite dating site? Kinder
A child with cancer: I want to be like you when I grow up. Doctor: Oh your not going to grow up.
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods and I was going to tell him nice fake airpods but it was his hearing aids
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5 year olds face
(there was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato)
Baby: wait for me!
(father tomato walks back towards the baby)
(he squishes the child)
Father: Ketchup
