Child jokes
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."