Child jokes
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Memes
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.