Child jokes
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Orphan
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.