Child jokes
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Orphans are lonely.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
What is an emo kid's favorite game?
Hangman.
Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.