Child jokes
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Memes
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home base.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
Orphan
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.