Child jokes
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Memes
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home base.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
Orphan
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈