Child

Child jokes

Torch

    • I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

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    • Ex

    • Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

    Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

    Orphan

    • Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

    Child: But why?

    Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

    Orphan: But why?

    Child memes

    Micheal Jackson

    • What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

    One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

  • 1

    • Children

    • My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

    If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

  • 1

    • Parachute

    • There were 5 people on an airplane.

    1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

    The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."

    "Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."

    The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.

    The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.

    The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.

    Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"

    And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"

    Orphanage

    • One day, a man visited an orphanage.

    Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

    The kid cries even harder.

    Orphan

    • Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

    So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

    Orphan

    • What's the one upside to being an orphan?

    You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.