Child jokes
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Memes
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never find home.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.