Child jokes
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.