Child jokes

The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.

A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.

All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.

One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"

The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"

The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"

Girl: "Daddy!"

Father: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"

Father: "Mhm!"

Woman: "Daddy?"

Father: "Of course?"

Woman: "I'm a girl too!"

Father: "Does God love children?"

Boy: "Yessss..."

Why aren't orphans good at poker?

Because they don't know what a "full home" is!

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?

Because they have no home to go to.

What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?

There's a home to go back to.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because I can’t hit a home run. 💀💀💀