Child jokes
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
New friend new, new Website, new child porn
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Alle Kinder hiessen Melissa, ausser Kurt, han hed det "grime Kurt bombomn".
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.
What did the mom say to the baby?
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.