Child jokes
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
say hello to my little princess. isnt she beutifull?? xx
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor? You nail its other hand to the floor.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.