Child jokes
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!