Child jokes
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Get off of here, kids!
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.