Child jokes
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Get off of here, kids!
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
I love orphans. They're precious.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."