Child jokes
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
Get off of here, kids!
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
I love orphans. They're precious.
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.