Child jokes
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
this is me
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play golf?
Because they can't find home.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run. 😭
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.