Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together. Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me? Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house. Police: ... Child: 😊 Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
A kid is watching tv and sees an ad about adopting an animal,he then turns to his mother and says “do we have to adopt a donkey” “no” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it......we adopted you”.
one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
mom: "no you can't.."
me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it
Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: Were here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court.."
A orphan's first word would be orphan keeper
My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child if you don't believe me I can pop my trunk
Today a child asked if I was an angle, I asked why and he said "mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."
Q: why can’t orphan be gay A: they have nobody to call daddy
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
A kid asks hims mom "mom how much do you love me" the mother responds with "i love you as much as i love your brother" the kid looks confused and says "but i don't have a brother" the mother smiles and says "well i guess my love is not existing
Orphan-why can’t I watch a pg movie
Me-they are Parental guidance
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said I know you wanna. jack undressed and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. but stupud jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Where can u never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants
what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal
What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
An orphan was running down the road.. a car pulled up and said "get in" so the orphan got in and said "where we going?" the kidnapper said "i'm taking you to my house" he orphan replied "OML YOUR ADOPTING ME!?"
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
