Child

Child jokes

Abortion

What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?

They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”

Minor

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Exorcism

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

Memes

Adoption

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

  • 1
  • Pedophile

    What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

    Pedophile

    Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

  • 2
  • Anal Sex

    How is spinach like anal sex?

    If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

  • 1
  • Neighbor

    Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

    The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

    Orphan

    What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

    Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

  • 8
  • Baby

    How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

    You nail its other hand to the floor.

  • 1
  • Uncle

    When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.