Child jokes
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.