Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
Child Jokes
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
