Child jokes
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.