Child jokes
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
Heh, stupid orphan.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.