My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Child Jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
