Check jokes
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.
Yo mama so stupid, she couldn't comment on this website because she didn't know the 2x4 check!
Where are the ping pong balls? Check the bathroom stalls.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
Why did the rapper visit the bank?
To get his RHYME CHECK.
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
Two plus two is four. Minus one, that's three, quick maths. Every day, man's on the block. Smoke trees (Ah). See your girl in the park. That girl is a uckers. When the ting went quack-quack-quack You man were ducking (You man ducked). Hold tight, Asznee (My brudda). He's got the pumpy (Big ting). Hold tight, my man (My guy). He's got the frisbee (Few). I trap, trap, trap on the phone Movin' that cornflakes (Uh). Rice Krispies. Hold tight, my girl Whitney (My G). On, on, on, on, on the road doin' 10 toes Like my toes (Like my toes). You man thought I froze. I see a peng girl, then I pose (Chilin'). If she ain't on it, I ghost. Hah, look at your nose (Check your nose, fam). You donut. Nose long like garden hose.
The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"