Check Jokes

Mr Big Fart

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles and a small scar on her right check. Last seen on cctv wearing a see through bottoms, a pink top and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

Earl E. Morningwood
in Doctor

I went for my routine check up last week and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

Anonymous

Is butt check one word or do I have to spread it

dr bright
in Doctor

when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor’s hands are on your shoulders

CoolDaddy

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

e
in Depression

Please check your spelling before clicking ‘Submit’. Thank you for your entry. ❤

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Anonymous
in Restaurant

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers? Me: No, but i`ll arm wrestle you for the check.

Anonymous
in Bullying

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

Anonymous

2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: “911 what’s your emergency?” Hunter no. 1: “The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep.” Operator: “Check if he’s / she’s (not assuming genders) dead.” Operator hears a distant gunshot Hunter no. 1: “What do I do next?”

Yeetus

There was once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off while the other one was always happy. This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, “None of these are actually mine and you left me in here all night so I’m angry!” His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was litterally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, “With all of this horse crap their has to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Anonymous
in Blonde

Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?

She called for a price check.

Anonymous
in Toilet Paper

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? Hey check me out I’m on a roll! 😂😂🤭🤭

Yeetus

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, “Are you the one taking care of my wife?” The doctor glanced away from his papers, “Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can’t eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby.” Shocked, the guys says, “Wait, if that’s the bad news, than what is the good news?” The doctor goes, “I’m just kidding with you, she died!”

Edivicsunsunday
in Morning

I was checking my shoe in my dad’s wallet and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap

Anonymous

So my kid every time I walk in the door he shuts his laptop so i check his history It was good but my wife checked mine and she didn’t say the same the words I head was get out.

Anonymous
in Ball

Where are the ping pong balls? check the bathroom stalls

Anonymous

i thought you were just raising your eyebrow but I checked x-ray and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right