Depression

e

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Restaurant

Anonymous

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers? Me: No, but i`ll arm wrestle you for the check.

Car

wiley69420

what happens when a black person gets in a car? the check oil light turns on

Bank

Anonymous

So a lady came up to me today at the bank and she asked me to check her Balance so I pushed her over

Wood

Anonymous

2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: “911 what’s your emergency?” Hunter no. 1: “The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep.” Operator: “Check if he’s / she’s (not assuming genders) dead.” Operator hears a distant gunshot Hunter no. 1: “What do I do next?”

Bullying

Anonymous

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

Doctor

CoolDaddy

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Morning

Yeetus

There was once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off while the other one was always happy. This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, “None of these are actually mine and you left me in here all night so I’m angry!” His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was litterally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, “With all of this horse crap their has to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Blonde

Anonymous

Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?

She called for a price check.

Toilet Paper

Anonymous

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? Hey check me out I’m on a roll! 😂😂🤭🤭

Doctor

dr bright

when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor’s hands are on your shoulders

Bank

Money

One day an old women came into the bank and asked me to check her balance… So, i pushed her over.

Bank

Anonymous

I work at a bank and a old woman asked me to check her balance

So I pushed her over

Nobody

Fnaf

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance… So I pushed her over

Morning

Edivicsunsunday

I was checking my shoe in my dad’s wallet and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap

Train

watersharky

Heres a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions- My buddies think I’m on the lake Boss thinks I’ve been sick for days And mama’s probably on her way ‘Cause I ain’t picked up the phone I’ve been a million places But they’re all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone I’ve been sittin’ on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I’ve been gone Took a trip down memory lane Checked into hotel heartbreak Passed rock bottom on the way Without leaving my living room I’ve been a million places But they’re all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone I’ve been sittin’ on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I’ve been gone Yeah I’ve been gone All the clothes are on the floor All the mail’s by the door All the whiskey bottles in my bed All the dishes in the sink All the gas is in the tank All the neighbors probably think I’m dead I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone I’ve been sittin’ on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I’ve been gone (ooh, ooh) I’ve been gone (ooh, ooh) Gone

Bob

Anonymous

lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her but on the cliff, so I pushed her over because i lost my balance

NASA

sally

why did the doctor check out earth? he had a tummy quake

Bank

Guest

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Deez Nuts

FUn guuy

This man came up to me and asked if i could sell my house to him and i said sure then five days later he said that the loan should came in the mailbox then i checked the mail box and the only thing i saw was nothing so i told the guy DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH