Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Where are the ping pong balls? Check the bathroom stalls.
Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To check in on his flat mate.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
How did the rapper find his missing phone?
He checked the track list.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
