Chair jokes
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?
Flip it over!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
"Chairing is caring, folks!"