Celebrity jokes
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
Memes
No shit lmao
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉ðŸ¤ðŸ¤£
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.