Celebrity

Celebrity jokes

Whore

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Nightmare

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Wrap

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

Memes

Orphan

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.

Date

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

Rock

I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣

Song

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Reaction

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

Wish

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

Toy

What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?

Wet 6-year-old balls.

Pronoun

You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.