Celebrity jokes
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
Bill Cosplay
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!