Celebrity

Celebrity jokes

Death

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

Orphan

What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?

He has family ties.

Chance

I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.

Hobby

What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?

Nothing because he's dead.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

Ball

Michael Jackson

Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".

People

Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?

A: Stop littering!

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!

Crotch

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.

Whore

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Nightmare

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Wrap

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

Orphan

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.