Celebrity jokes
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES space?
Snoop Star.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Why can Michael Jackson not play chess? Because he can't pick which side he is on, the white or black side.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.