Celebrity jokes
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
da baby
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Michael Jackson.
Memes
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.