Celebrity jokes
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
da baby
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Michael Jackson.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.